2018/5/4 14:58:00
南陽翻譯公司經(jīng)驗分享：個人陳述文書幾大雷區(qū)
去美國留學，寫好個人陳述也是很關鍵的一個部分，樂文南陽翻譯公司小編為大家整理個人陳述文書幾大雷區(qū)，各位小伙伴們記得巧妙避開噢~
一、學校介紹型
I am an undergraduatein…University , the largest university anda cradle ofscientific and technological talents in China.
點評：該同學的個人陳述開頭等于是一個申請學校的簡介，這好像是在幫助學校做宣傳，或表達你有多了解該學校，而不是寫個人陳述了。這是沒有意義的開頭，白白浪費了字數(shù)，最容易被秒據(jù)掉。
二、救世主型
I am a problemsolver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problemsbefore me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice fromPresident Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "Theworld can be changed by man's endeavor, …
點評：一副救世主的形象，小時候就受富蘭克林的影響，立志改變世界。個人陳述的寫作一定要個人化具體化，別吹大牛，甚至帶著一種霸權主義思維。
三、重復簡歷型
I earned my Bachelorof Science degree in … Sciences with a specializationin … in 2002 at … university
點評：美國留學個人陳述不要去重復簡歷中的東西，這在很多學校的PS要求中明確提到，個人陳述的寫作要具體到事件上，事件解決上，而不要單純重復已有的內容。
四、抄襲句式型
As a student majoringin Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program.Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy forsomething new.
點評：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學到的，很多同學在用。但你要知道，老外最恨抄襲，最喜原創(chuàng)，所以利害關系大家想想吧。
五、言幼稚型
'Why the gecko canclimb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'Howmany stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept askingmy mom all kinds of questions。I am especiallyinterested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hoursin order to find out its principle.
點評：上來就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠大抱負，who cares。個人陳述字數(shù)有限，卻用這么多話描述童年，沒有任何意義。學校想知道你如何看待未來，而不是如何度過過去。
六、猶抱琵琶型
Making a rightdecision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, Ihave come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decisionconcerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding ofoneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking,reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination andchoose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize incommunications which I will pursue a lifelong career.
點評：重點放在自己要做重大決定上了，人生的轉折點，然后來上句所謂名言警句。浪費字數(shù)，有限的字數(shù)里，同學們應該學會直接，并且抓住重點，突出自己最有優(yōu)勢的方面，最有特色的方面。
一、學校介紹型
I am an undergraduatein…University , the largest university anda cradle ofscientific and technological talents in China.
點評：該同學的個人陳述開頭等于是一個申請學校的簡介，這好像是在幫助學校做宣傳，或表達你有多了解該學校，而不是寫個人陳述了。這是沒有意義的開頭，白白浪費了字數(shù)，最容易被秒據(jù)掉。
二、救世主型
I am a problemsolver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problemsbefore me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice fromPresident Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "Theworld can be changed by man's endeavor, …
點評：一副救世主的形象，小時候就受富蘭克林的影響，立志改變世界。個人陳述的寫作一定要個人化具體化，別吹大牛，甚至帶著一種霸權主義思維。
三、重復簡歷型
I earned my Bachelorof Science degree in … Sciences with a specializationin … in 2002 at … university
點評：美國留學個人陳述不要去重復簡歷中的東西，這在很多學校的PS要求中明確提到，個人陳述的寫作要具體到事件上，事件解決上，而不要單純重復已有的內容。
四、抄襲句式型
As a student majoringin Computer Science, I began my odyssey since I entered undergraduate program.Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy forsomething new.
點評：Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 這種句式不知道是從哪里學到的，很多同學在用。但你要知道，老外最恨抄襲，最喜原創(chuàng)，所以利害關系大家想想吧。
五、言幼稚型
'Why the gecko canclimb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'Howmany stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept askingmy mom all kinds of questions。I am especiallyinterested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hoursin order to find out its principle.
點評：上來就回憶童年少年自己如何有著遠大抱負，who cares。個人陳述字數(shù)有限，卻用這么多話描述童年，沒有任何意義。學校想知道你如何看待未來，而不是如何度過過去。
六、猶抱琵琶型
Making a rightdecision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, Ihave come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decisionconcerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding ofoneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking,reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination andchoose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize incommunications which I will pursue a lifelong career.
點評：重點放在自己要做重大決定上了，人生的轉折點，然后來上句所謂名言警句。浪費字數(shù)，有限的字數(shù)里，同學們應該學會直接，并且抓住重點，突出自己最有優(yōu)勢的方面，最有特色的方面。